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  • Writer's pictureNancy, the Empathic Organizer

Adjusting to loss... how do we do it?

Decluttering is all about letting go which morphs into loss. Having just read Frank Bruni's memoir, "The Beauty of Dusk"

I was struck by a short memory of his that bowled me over given my passion and the work I do. Mr Bruni quoted his Psych professor who told his class: "Life is adjusting to loss." That is true on so many levels when it comes to the people, pets and things we love. Things we think we need. It is even more apparent these days when you look at the losses suffered in Ukraine and around the world. Monumental and without an end in sight. Yet those there are fighting and many are surviving on that they still have, their lives and their country.

We all have difficulty in letting go. What Frank Bruni wrote: "Cherishing those leftovers -- those holdovers -- is the key to thriving, sometimes even to surviving." (p38) My take: "Cherish what's left." Yes, life is adjusting to loss but there isn't only loss we must account for but what we have left to celebrate. That might be a lot. Taking back space that is ours, inside and out, can be a revelation and the beginning of freedom.

As we get older, this reality has even more impact and with each day, we begin to realize that we don't have all the time in the world to find happiness, our own space, our true self. We tend to rush when we don't have to, to lack patience when we most need it, involve ourselves in what really doesn't matter and forget the love around us.

Letting go like a lot of life's challenges requires a discipline that isn't easy to achieve.

Yet when we truly want something, we often find the regimen that usually escapes us is in fact what we feel as well as know we are ready to tackle.

I know that when I'm feeling engaged and ready for satisfaction I can get started. It can be the same for anyone. We each have to uncover our starting place. Then the loss, the relinquishing of what we don't need becomes easier and less painful and we can value deeply what we have left.

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